Saturday, October 10, 2009

Go Baller or Go Home

"Hey, you going to the party tonight?"

"I don't know, is anyone cool gonna be there?"

"Yeah, man. Everyone cool will be there."


"Hell, yeah. And get this, I heard Baller's going."

"No friggin' way. Don't jerk me around. Baller?"

"Yeah, man. Big time party. Bonfire. Girls. The works. Kegger times ten."

"I wonder if he'll drive his Firebird on the beach.""Of course he will. Baller doesn't play games. He's a pro."

The fact is, people have been talking this way about Baller for 40 years.

Even when he was a 10 year old kid marching towards the lunch table some classmate inevitably said "Wow. Here comes Baller. I bet he has the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the whole wide world. I wonder if he'll trade it for my bag of Funyuns?"

The answer then is the answer now: No! If Baller has a PB and J sandwich he definitely wants potato chips to go with it. He probably already brown bagged them so he's set. Don't pester him. He doesn't want stupid Funyuns. And he certainly wouldn't trade his PB and J for Funyuns. It would be like trading a steak for a potato. It's just a dumb idea.

Sadly, Baller has had to put up with overly eager people all his life. They just want a little bit of Baller in their day. It's understandable.

If I owned a Major League team back in 1979 and had the first two picks in the draft, I'd have drafted Baller twice. Baller and Baller. If there was an issue with that I'd have told the Commissioner to kiss my grits.

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